You are Dr John Alfred Hammond and you want to open a Jurassic Park themed camp for teenagers called
"Camp Cretaceous".
You've been given $100 million by the Chinese government, but only if you can get it up and running in three months. But your team of experts has warned that this is not possible, and they're right: you have no idea what you're doing!
You have to make some cuts if you are going to finish the camp on time, so first you slash the Health
& Safety Bud
g
et
.
Then you fire all the safety inspectors. Finally, you shut down the park's security systems, leaving only one guard behind at night...
***
The T-Rex was once again stalking its prey at dawn.
This is once again a PR nightmare! You opened the park and immediately everything went wrong. All of the kids are lost in the dinosaur enclosures hiding away for their lives!
It's too late now; the T-Rex knows exactly where he can find them! He'll eat them all before you even know about it!
***
"I'm sorry," I said to myself, "but I think we're going to need more than just two hours."
You call in your A-team to deal with the T-rex and save the kids:
You send them out into the jungle to lure him back. Meanwhile, you call in the B-Team to help fix the power grid. The main problem here is that when the dinosaurs escaped during the night, the park's computer system crashed and the backup generators failed.
You realize you are going to have to save those kids yourself! You use your brand new experimental dinosaur hunting weapon:
a pair of tranquilizer darts. This should be easy enough—you're a trained scientist after all!
As soon as the darts hit the T-Rex, he falls over like he got a bad flu.
You help the kids get back to their bunks safely. But you still have to deal with all the dinosaurs rampaging around the camp. You know you have to take drastic measures, so you call in the government.
***
A few days later, after the park was closed again due to another massive dinosaur attack, you and your boss were sitting at his desk talking about how to stop these things from happening.
You realize the phone lines have been cut and that you are going to use your last resort:
the fax machine!
Your boss's secretary comes in, hands you a piece of paper, and then leaves.
It says:
Dear Mr Hammond,
Please do not worry. Everything will be fine.
You have to do something to stop the dinos. You get an idea: set off the dormant volcano in the middle of the camp grounds! You smash the glass in your office that says, "In case of Dinosaur emergency, break glass!" and retrieve a nuclear bomb that you need to drop into the volcano to activate it.
You load the bomb onto a trailer, drive it out to the volcano, and start the countdown.
You arm the nuclear bombs and push the truck into the volcano
.
You
've got 5 minutes to escape the island!
***
You are a scientist who wants to open a Jurassic Park type theme park. You have been given $5 billion to build your park, but there is a catch: there's only one way off the island.
And that is:
through your own lab!
You spend most of your time trying to create dinosaurs, and you're pretty good at it. But you also realize you need to make sure your creations stay alive for longer than five minutes.
The bombs detonate, the volcano erupts and the entire island is covered in lava. You and all the kids watch from your fleet of escape helicopters.
You fly them back to your lab and you keep working.
***
At least you don't have to worry about any of that anymore. Because the island is uninhabitable, you buy the whole place from the Chinese government.
You repurpose the camp and convert it from a dinosaur themed one to a
zombie theme park. You charge people hundreds of dollars to walk through the ruined streets of your city and search for survivors. And every year, you hire a bunch of actors to dress up as zombies and scare the crap out of everyone.
You rename the camp to
Zombie Island.
***
You are Dr John Alfred Hammond and you want to open a Jurassic Park themed camp for teenagers called "Camp Cretaceous". You've been given $100 million by the Chinese government, but only if you can get it up and running in three months.
The new camp is very successful, but it is under threat from the wave of lawsuits from the "Camp Cretaceous" failure.
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