AI Generated Infomercial – You are the salesman and host of an informercial where they praise a product, but nothing works right.

Posted under Episode Infomercial, Story On By Chief

You are the salesman and host of an informercial where they praise a product, but nothing works right.
  The product your are selling is a
 set of three super-duper glasses that will show you everything at once! (Nothing works right.) You must find out what went wrong so that you can sell more products to happy customers like yourself.


> You shout "But wait there's more!"

You shout: "But wait there's more!".
The man in the blue suit says: "No, not really."
You say: "Yes, really".
The man in the blue suit says: "Well I'm glad we cleared that up."

You welcome celebrity guest Steve Harvey to the program and notice that Steve has coke all over his face.

Steve Harvey says: "I've got some great news for everyone here today! I have just been given the keys to my very own mansion on the island of Bali, Indonesia!"
"And this means?"

Steve begins shouting and pointing at everyone in the audience and says, "You get a time share, and you get a time share!"

You say: "This sounds like good news indeed."
You ask: "What does it mean?"
Steve Harvey says: "It means that you guys can buy one of these shares and get a slice of paradise for yourselves too!"

> You ask "But Steve, how can I enjoy paradise if I can't see everything?  Don't you think I should get some super duper glasses to go with that time share?"

Steve Harvey says: "Nope, nope, nope! No way am I going to let you ruin paradise for me by giving you something even better than what I already have!"
You ask: "Why not?"

Steve Harvey says: "Because then people would start buying shares in everything and no one would be able to afford anything anymore! That wouldn't be fair!"
You say: "Fairness isn't about what's fair.

You put on your super duper glasses and see that Steve Harvey is not human, but actually.

A massive insect from another planet who has crash landed on Earth.
Steve Harvey says: "See, I told you so! Paradise ain't for humans!"
You say: "How can I sell him a time share when he doesn't want to buy one?"

Steve Harvey says, "Things that will make your marriage end in the divorce
, top 7 answers on the board:
  A) I don't love her anymore", "B) She doesn't love me anymore", "C) We're both tired of each other", "D) I cheated on her", "E) She cheated on me", "F) Our sex life is boring", "G) We never

 had any sex life".
You ask: "Why did you cheat on her?"
Steve Harvey says, "I didn't! I was framed!"
You say: "I'm sure you didn't cheat on her."

You put on your super duper glasses and see if Steve Harvey is actually innocent:

Steve Harvey is actually innocent.
You say: "You look innocent enough to me."
Steve Harvey says, "I know I look guilty, but trust me, I'm not!"
You ask: "If you didn't cheat on her, why do you need a time share?"

Steve Harvey says, "Because I want to live somewhere else! If I can't afford to move, I'll just stay here forever!"
You say: "So what you're saying is that you don't want to move?"

Steve nods and you bring up the number on the screen for people to buy timeshares now!  The phones goes crazy with orders flooding in for the glasses and the timeshares!

You say: "Looks like you made a killing off this sale."
Steve Harvey says, "I did! Now I can finally afford to move!"
You ask: "But where are you moving to?"

Steve Harvey says, "I'm moving to the island of Bali, Indonesia!"
You say: "That sounds nice. I'm sure it's very beautiful there."
Steve Harvey says, "It's perfect!
 They have great weather and no one wants to leave!"
You say: "Sounds like a dream come true!"
Steve Harvey says, "I know, right?! And I'm gonna build myself a mansion on the beach!

You ask Steve, "But how do I build a mansion on the beach?  I don't know how to build one..."

Steve Harvey says, "I don't know either! But I'm sure I can find someone who knows how to do it!"
You ask: "Who could help you?"
Steve Harvey says, "I'm sure I can find someone on the island of Bali who can teach me how

You plug the website BuildBaliBeachMansions.org and say that your team on Beach Mansion builders is ready to build your Bali Dream Home!

You ask: "But Steve, how will you afford a mansion on the beach?"
Steve Harvey says, "I'll just take out a loan! I'm sure I can find someone willing to give me a huge line of credit!"

You plug the website LoansForBuildingBaliBeachMansions.biz
 and say that your team on Beach Mansion lenders is ready to lend you money for your Bali Dream Home!
You ask: "But Steve, how will you pay back the loans?"
Steve Harvey says, "I won't have to!
 Because I'll be rich from selling my timeshare!"
You say: "But Steve, how can you possibly afford a mansion on the beach when you're still making $50,000 a year?"

Steve Harvey says, "I'm sure I can sell my timeshare and still have enough left over to pay for the mansion on the beach!"
You say: "Well, I guess that makes sense."

You and Steve take a trip to Bali to visit the timeshares and notice that they are inferior in quality than what you promised.  Actually they are just metal shacks and they are in a swamp, not a beach.

You say, "This is disappointing.
You go into the swamp and try to fix them, but nothing happens.
You say, "Maybe we should just burn down these crappy timeshares."

Steve interjects ands says, "Actually, just ​shill your Swamp Converter spray!"

The bushes around you start to wither away and you notice that a small hill has appeared on the ground.
You say, "Wow, this must be the power of Shill Spray!"

The shill spray is working alright, the swamps is definitely being converted, but not to a wonderful beach, but instead a
 terrible jungle.
You say, "But it looks like we've ruined the environment!"
You plug the website SaveEnvironment.org and say, "Your team on Saving The Environment is ready to save the world from our mistakes!"