Your parents tell you to be careful with the car. You start driving the car, while smoking a cigar. You accidentally drive your car into the Principal's car. You get out of the car and start talking to the Principal, who is very mad. You realize you left your cigar in your car. Because of that, the car is on fire! > You put out the flames You put out the flames by throwing water at them. The flames die down and you go back home. A few days later, your mother comes to pick you up because she wants to talk to you about something. She tells you that she thinks you should be more careful around cars. You tell her "The principle crashed into me, I swear! Then he threw his cigar in my window when I wasn't looking! Mom, you gotta believe me!". She says "I do, but I'm not sure if this is really what you want to hear". After school, you run into a girl named Donna. She tells you that the principal has been threatening her and her boyfriend for months now. He said he was going to kill them both unless they gave him money. They refused, so he threatened to break their legs. You counterfeit a North Korean passport and slip it into the principles pocket. You then frame him for murder, and the police deport him to North Korea. A month passes and you have no idea where you are or how you got there. One day, you wake up and find yourself in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees. You look around and see that you're in a forest. There's nothing here except an endless plain. Suddenly, you feel like you've been here before. It's strange, but familiar. see a sign for Pyongyang, you realize that you are in North Korea! > You continue... North Korea It seems as though everything in your life is a blur. You don't remember anything else after being deported to North Korea. The next thing you know, you're walking along a road. You notice a man standing near a bus stop. He looks like he's drunk. "Hey, how much for a ride?" he asks. You yell at him in broken Korean! He turns around and smiles at you. His eyes seem to be made of lead. "Oh, sorry, can't help you", he says. He starts laughing maniacally. You panic. What will happen if you don't give him money? Will he kill you? "No, please!", you say. "Please let me in!" He laughs even harder. You realize this is Kim Jong un's robot buddy, you ask him to take you to see Kim. "What's a little kid doing in North Korea?", you ask. He shrugs and walks away. You walk along the road and suddenly you see a bright light. It appears as though the sun has risen over the horizon. As you stand there staring at the light, you begin to wonder why you're in North Korea. You try to find your Principal and ask him what has happened. He tells you that you were deported from North Korea due to being too dangerous. Now, you must live in a village called Kanggyeong, which is located in South Hamgyeong Province. You decide to stay in this village until you learn more information. You run for Supreme Leader in an impromptu election and pass out hand drawn flyers saying "VOTE DICK OR DIE!". You also make posters for the upcoming elections. A few weeks go by and you discover that the people in Kanggyeong have been getting killed off all over the country. Some of these deaths are caused by nuclear bombs dropped by the United States. You also learn that Kim Jong Un has taken power and is planning to use nuclear weapons against the U.S. You go to the country's only power station and pull the fuse. Now North Korea has no electricity and cannot launch missiles. You also learn that the President has died in office. After hearing this news, you become very depressed. You think about how you'll never leave this place ever again. You seize power and just living in Kim Jong Un's house and pretend you are the new leader. > You continue... North Korea North Korea has fallen into anarchy. The entire country has turned against its government. You are forced to flee the country. You arrive in South Korea. You immediately learn that the whole world hates North Korea. The Americans bomb the country several times. You don't care. You just want to escape. You hide on a UPS cargo plane and stowaway. You board another one and head towards Japan. After arriving in Japan, you get arrested by the Japanese Police. They think you are a spy sent by North Korea to overthrow the Government. You explain that you are fleeing North Korea and that you came to Japan to seek asylum. You plead guilty and your sentence is death. You get a very good japanese lawyer who appeals the case and helps you seek asylum. After a year in Japan, you successfully obtain asylum. You then move back to the United States. You start working at a restaurant in New York City. Your boss is kind and gives you lots of free food. One night, you sneak into the kitchen and steal a large bottle of wine. Your boss, Bob Hoggers, catches you. But Bob let's it slide when you spill out your life story to him. You tell him that you are a refugee from North Korea. Bob tells you that it would be best if you moved to his town, "Hogtown". Hogtown is a small town in Pennsylvania. Bob invites you to come with him to visit Hogtown. You ask "Bob, did your family found Hogtown? Or Is the name a coincidence?". Bob explains that his father was a famous hog farmer in Hogtown. When he passed away, the farm fell into disrepair. Then, the town of Hogsburg became a hub for hog farming, so they decided to rename the town Hogtown. You laugh at this explanation. The two of you drive to Hogtown. You drive Bob to Hogstown and accidentally crash the car into a ditch after your ride over a patch of slippery pig shit. You are both injured. The police arrests you both and holds you in jail. You are released shortly afterwards. You go back home where your mother is waiting for you. She is sad to hear about your accident. "I'm so sorry son", she says. You look at her and smile. "Mommy loves you". You say "Mom. I crashed my car and you need to buy me another one.". > You happy ending A few years later, you are released from prison and you return to your original job in the restaurant. You work hard every day and eventually open up a second location in Florida. Soon after opening up your first restaurant, you notice that the American economy is going down the drain. This causes many businesses to close their doors. Many jobs are lost. You forge your Mom's signature and withdraw your college savings to buy a new Red Ford Mustang and fill the trunk with Cuban cigars. The Cuban cigar business is booming now. You are now rich and the money allows you to open a third restaurant in California. Soon after opening up your third restaurant, you notice that the American economy is starting to recover. This causes many businesses to reopen their doors. Many jobs are gained. Eventually, the American economy begins to improve again.
A high school senior named Dick Grayson who just got a car from your parents
Posted under Episode 91, Story On By Chief